Ah, nothing like a long lost friend who knows everything you dislike about yourself. Who wants to remind you of each and everything, everyday. Its nice when they come to visit and insist on staying. And of corse you're such a good person that you let them. No matter how loud or how hurtful they are to you, no matter how much they hurt you, no matter how much they make you wanna hurt yourself. You let them stay, because in reality you have no choice. In reality you let you bully you. And you know its your own fault. And you want to stop letting them push you around, but you cant. They drive you to a point of madness. Where nothing makes sense, you feel like you can't speak up, to say "I need help". No, you're too prideful for that. This is your battle. Even if it is a loosing one. That's even more of a reason not to let others get in. You protect them. You protect them from yourself because you've delt with it long enough, and know that its too much for others. So you sit there. In silence. Sometimes forcing a happy face so they dont worry about you.
So they don't ask that question.
That question you don't want to answer.
Cause you know you'll always lie.
"Are you ok?"